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Why Men Don’t Do Therapy

Reason Number One

“I’m not mentally ill.”

It’s not about being mentally sick.

It’s about gaining mental strength to do something about your situation.

A therapist is like a trainer who provides you with expert knowledge, insight and useful tools. 

They help cut your pain short and increase your mental strength gains quickly.

Therapy is one of the best-kept secrets of successful men.

Reason Number Two

“Alright. Something needs attention.  But, therapy can’t solve my problems.”

Here’s the scrape: Your therapist is a consultant, like a CPA or lawyer, who provides you clarity so you can manage your life — and, yes, potentially obtain resolution.

Reason Number Three

“I can’t put myself in that position. I have to be strong and endure what I’m going through.”

A lot of men think they have to have it all together all the time and endure pain because that’s what men are supposed to do, no matter how miserable they are.

It’s hard to be on top of your game when you’re in agony.

If you really want to have all your crap together, it makes complete sense to get some relief. 

Reason Number Four

“Going to therapy is admitting I’m weak.”

Many men feel this way. Men are complex and deal with manhood in their own way.

Asking for help is a sign of strength and effective self-management.

It’s self-advocacy in the context of your own definition of manhood.

There’s a difference between acting tough and being strong.

It takes strength to face your problems.

Reason Number Five

“That’s all I need. Someone else to sit there and judge me.”

It can be hard trying to work through your problems while having someone else telling you what to do and judging you.

You don’t have to prove anything to a therapist.

They are your “disinterested guide.” By “disinterested” I mean they are not tangled in your life.

They’re someone on the outside looking in.

They are skilled professionals and see your situation in the same matter-of-fact way that a car mechanic views your vehicle.

Your therapist won’t look at you in anger or disgust because you never “changed your oil”.

Therapists care enough to assess, not enough to judge.

You don’t have to lie to your therapist.

Reason Number Six

“I have a spouse/partner/girlfriend/relative/buddy I can talk to.”  

That’s not very helpful. (See reason #5)

Federal law requires your therapist to keep what you tell him in confidence.

Your spouse/partner/girlfriend/relative/buddy is not.

Reason Number Seven

“Mr. Drug and Mr. Drink are my therapists.”

These two things may help you temporarily but they don’t really get at the root cause of the problem.

It’s like taking painkillers for a toothache that you know has to be treated differently.

Therapy is a more long-term, sustainable approach than drinking or drugging. Side effects are minimal to non-existent.

Mr. Drink and Mr. Drug’s side effects are, well, you know.

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